It's been a while

It's been a while until today

I treasured so much in life for the past few seasons
I have been drifted to my very last energy
I almost lost everything that I could have
I almost lost my self...

I saw dark cloud, I felt the rejection, I felt tremendous pain
I felt betrayed so bad, to my own life...
I gambled everything I have for losing...
I disgraced my own conviction, my own believer...
I sucked it all for my own selfness and like a jar, it's broken into pieces
Happen couple times until I enjoyed it...

Wasn't easy for me to get up...
Wasn't easy...
You might unable to count how many times I failed on this.
How many times I was blaming everybody, everyone...
So many times until the only thing that I still remember is to find a way to run, escaping...
But I just couldn't.

Until today,
I still feel the loneliness, the emptiness, something is missing.
But mostly part of my heart are evolving greater...
Chasing and pushing ....
Life goes on, and I am just a survivor....

It's been a while...

Have you ever felt your energy is drained to the last drop yet you ain't stop and still keep going? If you do, trust me you are raising the bar, doing something bold in your life and it can only be as rewarding as you want it to be.

I am walking this task, I am.

Jakarta, 27 January 2011